Fear (of the Unknown)
by fraukey
Summary: Jo and Alex post 10x24. Dealing with hospital shares, Alex' usual trust and depreciation issues and Meredith Grey. Will be a '3 chapter one-shot'. COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

"Alex," Jo spoke softly, trying to read through a page they had just been staring at. "Alex," she chided him more forcefully now, since he didn't seem to be paying much attention to what he was scanning through. She leaned over and elbowed him gently but meaningfully to quit his random shuffling through the pages. "Just," she breathed, frowning at him with a confused face as well, shaking her head at him. "Let's go through it reasonably, alright? I can't even read what the-," she talked onto him when he only sighed, pushing the stack into her lap and got up. Jo's eyes followed his movements, fixating on the back of his head, waiting for him to do or say something. He was just standing there, both arms resting on his hips, staring at something on the other side of their bedroom. "Alex," she wanted to soothe him, try to get him to communicate but he only held up his hand towards her, not even looking back. Jo rolled her eyes, sighing, letting her eyes drop to the documents again, starting to read. _This is a joke, right? She can't just leave all her shares with Alex… that'd be insane! It's a crap load of money and investment and… a seat on the board… and she didn't even ask him, for God's sake! This is all a wicked joke, right? That can't be legal… right? Or can it? What's this? Right, this is signed by a notary. Seriously, Yang has always been one for surprises… but this?_

"YANG," Jo startled when Alex barked something into his phone, making her sigh dramatically, raising her eyebrows at his shape that was now strolling back and forth aggressively. "Call me as soon as you hit ground, I mean it, _do not think_ you can get away with this," he hissed into the phone before ending the call, throwing his phone on the bed and glaring at Jo in irritation. Jo who had been biting her lip to not let any possibly inappropriate words slip her mouth dropped her head to the side. _She had learned at least that much in the course of their still rather new relationship._

"Don't you want to at least look at these?" she asked him, countering him with wide eyes. Alex brought up one of his hands to his forehead and rubbed it, deep in thought it seemed, while the other one was still propped on his hip. After a moment, she could make out how he was shaking his head slightly. Jo didn't know what to do, she was too overwhelmed with the news as well. Nevertheless, she took a deep breath, putting the paperwork down besides her and got up, taking timid steps towards him and closing the gap between them, making him look up at her. "Come on," she whispered, putting her left hand on his chest before running the fingers of her right hand across his cheek. "Let's just try to digest this, alright?" she suggested, insecurely though, not having gotten any input from her boyfriend for a while. She didn't wanna say anything wrong. Even though she guessed there wasn't anything much that could be classified as right or wrong in this situation since they both seemed to be too stumped with everything at the moment. However, she knew Alex, and she knew that he tended to blow up on bystanders when things outgrew him. Alex just stared back at her eyes, pondering. _Just say something. Say something. I don't know what to say anymore if you don't hint where this situation is going. Please, just say something._

Jo yanked her head back in surprise when Alex swooped down to kiss her, deeply. She frowned while reciprocating the kiss but placed both her hands on his chest, trying to put some space in between them. "Hey, hey," she murmured against his lips but he only continued to place kisses on her cheek and towards her ear and neck, having wrapped his arms around her waist tightly. She closed her eyes and smiled before grabbing his head, cupping both sides and made him look at her. "We need to talk about this," she followed his eyes with hers, propping her head down for him to not be able to avert them.

"I don't wanna talk about it," he rasped, trying to kiss her again but she was still holding him off.

"We kinda have to," Jo pointed out, her eyes wide and her mouth pulled to the side as if she was suggesting something that she really wasn't all too sure about herself.

"Not now," Alex came back immediately, already busying himself at her neck again. Jo sighed, letting him do so this time, shifting towards him slightly to tighten her left arm around his neck while her right hand was going through his hair. _This is the good stuff. Let's do this instead of bothering ourselves with paperwork. _When he had made his way up towards her lips again, he engrossed them in a passionate kiss, his hands having found their way underneath her red top. Jo moaned lightly before pulling back again, resting her forehead against his. _I wish I could just let you kiss me, baby. I really do. _

"Stop running from things that scare you," the words came out mingled with a gasp.

"I'm not," Alex shook his head in a tiny motion. "I'm just not letting Yang prevent us from getting some," he told her, smirking. Jo rolled her eyes and laughed voicelessly, still running her fingers through his hair.

"Come on, we can do this later, let's at least try to get _some_ clarity on this? _Please?_" she urged him, pecking his lips. _Wrong move. _He was all over her again. "Alex," she tried to shape against his lips. "Come on, how can you not be curious?" she bounced up and down on her toes, trying to make him see that she wasn't into this. _She would be, totally. And he knew how to distract her._ But this was big. _It was huge. _She needed him to deal with it. Suddenly, while still dealing with her own thoughts about it, she felt him pull away roughly, passing her by to walk over towards where the documents were lying on the bed.

"Alright, if that's what you want," he told her in a mock rejected voice. Jo caught his arm that was still sliding around her waist while passing and stopped him, giving him a death glare, cupping his chin.

"Do not twist my motives, Karev," Jo advised him, having raised her eyebrows dangerously high. Alex sighed, rolling his eyes and let go of her, sitting down and reading the first page out loud.

"Alright, what do we have here?" he started off in obvious fake motivation. Jo sat next to him and looped her legs over his right thigh when he pulled her closer to make her go through it with him. "M-hm, m-hm, sounds very interesting. Here it states that Dr. Cristina Yang's shares of Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital of Seattle will be transferred to Dr. Alexander Michael Karev, m-hm, alright, okay, this is signed by the hospital's notary, seems legit," he rambled on, completely unserious. Jo pressed her lips together into a thin line, trying to not smile about his stupid joke and slapped his shoulder.

"Stop joking around, this is serious," she reprimanded him, earning a chuckle and then a sigh when his phone went off.

"This better be Yang," he ranted, while motioning for Jo to shift and retrieve his phone from the other end of their bed. Jo did as told and grabbed for it, only to scrunch her face up at seeing who was calling him, shaking her head.

"It's Grey," she said, shoving it into his hand, watching him pick up the call impatiently.

"Did you know about the shares?" Alex instantly barked into the phone, foregoing proper greeting. Jo tried to make out what Grey was saying on the other end of the line but all she could hear was something close to static noise and the distant memory of her superior's voice. She tried to read Alex' face when he listened to what his friend said and shook her head at him questioningly, not gaining a reply. "What? Hold on, why? Is this about Cristina?" he inquired after a moment, listening again. He shifted slightly and motioned for Jo to move her legs from his for him to get up. "_What? _What happened? No, I haven't talked to her, why? No, I was asking if you knew about Cristina transferring her shares of the hospital to _me_," Alex repeated, walking around the room aimlessly. "I don't know, Mer, that's why I'm asking you," he told her in an irritated voice. "Yeah, alright," he dropped his arm that was holding up the phone to his ear and ended the call, scrolling through something on his phone.

"What? What did she say, Alex?" Jo asked him impatiently when he didn't share immediately.

"Um, she's on her way over," he answered dismissively, still engrossed into whatever he was looking at.

"What, why?" Jo scrunched up her face. _Secretly she wished the last couple of minutes hadn't happened. She wanted to spend the night with Alex. Alone. She wanted to spend the night with Alex at their newly very empty house they now had to themselves. _Alex looked up at her, obviously distracted, and flitted his gaze across her annoyed looking face.

"I don't know, she said something about not going to DC and I don't know… she sounded upset or something. She's already left their house," he explained, walking over towards the door.

"Wait, what about the documents? Alex, wait a second," she ran after him quickly, annoyed with this sudden game changer.

"What?" he looked back at her, already moving down the hallway.

"Are you seriously ditching me for Meredith Grey?" Jo asked him, seemingly on the edge. Alex rolled his eyes at this.

"I'm not ditching you, stop fussing," he shot back, jogging downstairs.

"You wanted to get it on a minute ago, I consider this ditching me," she pointed out for him, running into him when he suddenly turned around mid-step. "Whoa, sorry," Jo startled. Alex swooped down and kissed her lips before saying anything else.

"I'm not ditching you, _stop fussing_," he told her, his eyes burning into hers, a smile tugging at his lips, making her blush.

"Okay," Jo stumbled out awkwardly, looking up at him timidly. He rolled his eyes at her sudden change in demeanor and grabbed her hand, pulling her towards the living room.

"Come on." Jo sat down on the couch while Alex busied himself with switching on the lamps and then going over towards some shelves, looking through binders, pulling one out eventually.

"What are you doing?" Jo watched him, feeling like she was left out of the loop.

"I'm looking for my resignation paperwork," he told her busily, already pulling a bunch of sheets out of a transparency.

"Why?"

"I don't know… I feel like… there must be something that says she can't just transfer those shares and her seat on the board to me. I don't even work at the hospital anymore," he pondered, scanning the lines on the sheet.

"I thought you said Shepherd and Grey are keeping their seats, and they were supposed to leave for DC, right? They won't be working at the hospital anymore, either,… but they still get to keep their shares and their seats? Why would it be any different? And why would it say something like that on your resignation papers?"

"I don't know, Jo, I'm just trying to work it out, alright?" he said, looking up when the doorbell rang. Jo sighed and got up, walking over and opening the door for Dr. Grey who was looking all upset. Jo took an instinctive step back. _Wow, if Jo didn't know any better she'd say Dr. Grey had gone back to being Medusa. Well, to be honest, she actually really didn't know any better._

"Hi," Jo greeted her insecurely, making Grey smile, insincerely though, and motioning her towards the living room. "Alex is in there," she voiced but her superior had already made her way in.

"What do you mean she gave you her seat on the board? She gave you her shares?" Jo heard her say unbelievingly, walking in behind her slowly. Alex looked up from the papers he was studying and locked eyes with Meredith in irritation.

"As I said, I just found the paperwork back in my room, she didn't even say anything. She just left them there. But they look all official and legit… I don't know, Mer, I'm not good with that kind of crap, I didn't even know one could do that…," he looked up at her questioningly. Meredith stared at him before walking over and looking at the papers he was holding. Alex shook his head. "No, these are not them, these are my resignation papers, I was just…," he tried to explain but Meredith had already straightened up again and rolled her eyes.

"Of course you can do that. It isn't any different from selling your shares or whatever… have you talked to her?"

"I told you, _no_," Alex shot back madly. Meredith sighed, dropping down on the other end of the couch, putting her face into her hands. "What's your problem?" Alex observed her, seemingly confused.

"Derek and I had a fight," she just stated before looking up at Jo. Alex' gaze followed hers which made Jo feel rather uncomfortable.

"Alright, then," she voiced in defeat, slowly backing out of the room. _Did you really just leave that room because Meredith Grey seemed to want privacy with _your _boyfriend? _Jo rolled her eyes at herself while walking up the stairs. _She really didn't sign up for a night like this. Ugh, she really just wanted to be left alone with Alex. She never got to see him anymore with him working at the practice and all. And today had been crazy. With the explosion and the E.R. being all crammed. Ugh, she just needed some downtime. And now this. _Jo sighed, picking up the hospital documents and moving back down the stairs. She walked over towards Grey and shoved them into her hands. The other woman looked up at her in surprise before looking at the folder in her hands.

"Maybe you can help him with this, I sure can't," Jo told her and she heard her words come out a little harsh even though she hadn't actively realized that she was feeling a bit left out. But now that she was thinking about it, she did. Which was ridiculous, and she knew it, so she tried to steady herself and put on a nice voice. "I'll be upstairs if you need me, alright?" Jo glanced over towards Alex who smiled a small smile at her and immediately busied himself with talking to Meredith about the shares.

* * *

Jo plopped down on their bed and switched on her computer. Just because _Dr. Grey_ monopolized Alex didn't mean she couldn't at least _try_ to help somehow as well. She logged onto her Skype and typed away.

**_JW: _**_Shane, are you on?_

**_SR: _**_What's up?_

**_JW: _**_[typing]_

**_SR: _**_No time for small talk, though, if that's what you're aiming for, I'm packing…_

**_JW: _**_Did you know about Yang's shares of the hospital?_

**_SR: _**_You didn't...?_

**_JW: _**_Ugh, Shane, I mean do you know anything about how she left things?_

**_SR: _**_Not sure what you're talking about..._

**_JW: _**_So, you don't?_

**_SR: _**_Know what, Jo?_

**_JW: _**_She transferred them to Alex…_

**_SR: _**_You're kidding, right?_

**_JW: _**_No_

**_SR: _**_Why in the world would she do that?_

**_JW: _**_Why wouldn't she?_

Shane Ross could be such a douche sometimes. Of course he was thinking his precious Yang had done a much better job on the board than Alex ever would. Jo could feel herself become more agitated.

**_SR: _**_I don't know. I would have kept them_

**_JW: _**_So, she seriously hasn't talked to you about this?_

**_SR: _**_Why would she?_

**_JW: _**_Well, keeping in mind that you used to sleep with her_

**_SR: _**_Oh look who's talking now_

**_JW: _**_Oh come on you know that's not the same_

**_SR: _**_Well regarding this it really is_

**_JW: _**_Fuck off_

**_SR: _**_Oh who's getting defensive now_

**_JW: _**_Just don't tell anyone yet alright_

**_SR: _**_Who would I tell I quit my job today. I got a last minute flight to Zurich for early tomorrow morning_

**_JW: _**_So you're actually doing this huh?_

**_SR: _**_Awesome isnt it?_

**_JW: _**_Have you thought about this at all?_

**_SR: _**_Through and through. I admit though if I had my girl sitting in on the board I'd consider staying as well_

**_JW: _**_Alex is not sitting in on the board. Yet I guess_

**_SR: _**_Well have fun with that_

**_JW: _**_Are you in touch with Yang?_

**_SR: _**_She sent me a msg a while ago_

**_JW: _**_Tell her to call Alex_

**_SR: _**_Tell her yourself_

**_JW: _**_Just tell her if you hear from her, alright? Thanks_

Jo put down her laptop, sighing. She felt empty. She hadn't expected that turn of events that night at all. _Of course, who would? But then… how was she supposed to feel about that? How did Alex feel about it? God, how was this gonna change everything again for him? With his new job and all?_ Jo went into the bathroom and got herself ready for bed. It was late but it didn't seem like Alex and Meredith were gonna be done soon. When she put her head out to listen to any talking from downstairs, she could make out their soft voices discussing something. Jo sighed again. _This was gonna be a lonesome night. _She walked over to her bedside and pulled back the sheets, climbing in and switching off the lights. _That much to celebrating their official first night alone at the house._

* * *

Jo hadn't heard Alex get into bed during the night, and she couldn't remember him sleeping next to her. When her alarm clock went off the next morning, she padded her hand around clumsily before shutting up the obnoxious beeping. Jo yawned widely, stretching and cracking her neck before switching on her bedside lamp and surveyed her lonesome existence in their usually shared bed. _Please don't tell me they talked through the entire night. Please just tell me he got up really early. He's not getting up early anymore for the practice, though. Ugh._ Jo closed her eyes and scrunched up her face, moaning. She got up and got ready for her day before leaving the bedroom and instantly making out the smell of coffee and bacon_. Alright, he hadn't come up to sleep if he's cooking remorse bacon. _Jo rolled her eyes before dropping her purse by the door and walking back towards the kitchen. Upon entering, Alex looked up at her, ruefully as anticipated, and Meredith Grey turned around on her barstool, sipping at her coffee.

"Morning," Jo said, walking in, smiling at Dr. Grey politely who mirrored her face.

"Sorry for keeping Alex up all night," she apologized towards the younger woman who just smiled on her way over towards Alex who was halfway between her and the coffee machine that she needed badly.

"Shut up, she didn't need to know that," Alex hissed towards his friend, eyeing up his girlfriend. Jo snorted.

"Oh, but I did know," she wriggled her eyebrows at him, running her fingers softly across his back when passing him and aiming for the coffee machine straight forwardly.

"Was it the bacon?" Alex looked after her, his face showing an innocent smile. Jo chuckled while enjoying the first sip of coffee, immediately awakening her. "I knew it was too much," Alex mockingly stomped his foot on the floor.

"Any news?" Jo asked him, leaning back on the counter. Alex sighed.

"I left like ten messages on Yang's voicemail, she hasn't returned them. We went through the papers but we both don't really speak law, so that wasn't of any help… Meredith called in a board meeting for this morning, though, I'll probably just have to go and see… hey, do you think Hunt knows about all this?" Alex turned over towards Meredith questioningly. The woman looked at him ponderingly before sighing.

"I'm not sure he does. Probably not. I don't know… but then again, with Cristina having done this with the help of a notary and all… I could imagine the chief having had to be there. I don't know… I don't know anything anymore…," Meredith shrugged.

"What about your seats? Are you…," Jo started to voice her question when she spotted Alex' meaningful eyes and an almost unnoticeable shake of his head from the corner of eye. "Um… what I'm trying to say is…," she stuttered. _Shit, think of something, fast_. "How did you get to your seats?" _Lame, Jo, pretty lame. You're presenting yourself as stupid_. Meredith looked at her through narrowed eyes, sizing her up.

"We bought our seats to the board. We bought the hospital…," Grey responded slowly, observing Jo almost condescendingly. "But I'm sure you know that…," she completed her own thought.

"Cut her some slack, she couldn't have known you decided to cancel DC," Alex snapped at Meredith making both the women look at him in surprise.

"Alex," Jo tried to stop him from getting too defensive.

"Oh, so you think a second year resident needs to know about my personal life?" Meredith gave back to him saucily. Alex rolled his eyes.

"It's fine, Dr. Grey, I'm leaving for work in a minute, anyways," Jo tried to defuse the tension.

"She's not a _second year resident_. She's my girlfriend," Alex countered.

"Alex, stop," Jo begged him. As much as she loved Alex defending her, she didn't wanna get into more trouble than worth.

"I'm just kidding, it's fine. It's not like the entirety of Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital won't have heard about my personal problems by the end of the day," Meredith sipped at her coffee again. Jo looked at the other doctor understandingly. Jo didn't know anything about Meredith Grey's personal problems but she definitely knew what being the gist of everyone's conversations felt like. It wasn't good. She wouldn't wish that on anyone. But the more you try to keep your personal life private, the more it was becoming the issue to talk about at their workplace it seemed.

"Come on, Mer, it's gonna be fine, you know it," Alex tried to back his friend up now, his voice sounding unsure, though.

"I'm not sure it will," Meredith just looked at him with big eyes and a put on smile. "But I guess we will have to see," she got off her barstool, readying herself too. They stood in silence for a bit, none of them knowing how to continue.

"So, does that mean you'll be giving me a ride into work?" Jo turned towards Alex after a minute of awkward silence. He nodded.

"Let me go have a shower and change, I'll be down in like ten minutes, I swear," he added when Jo replied by rolling her eyes impatiently. He swept down to kiss her cheek before vanishing from the kitchen.

* * *

They drove into work separately, Jo riding with Alex while Dr. Grey took her own car. Jo had turned over to watch Alex while he rested his hand in her lap, intertwined with hers.

"I missed you last night," Jo whispered, placing a soft kiss on Alex' biceps, smelling his freshly scrubbed skin underneath his white button up shirt. Alex smiled, squeezing her hand he was holding.

"I'm sorry, baby," he glanced over at her quickly. "Mer and Shepherd had a bad fight. I mean they had bad fights before but this one was… _bad_ bad," he told her, giving her big eyes.

"So, it wasn't all about the shares?" Jo asked tentatively.

"Yeah, some of it was. But as said, we didn't get very far. And then we talked Cristina and then the whole DC story came up… I just… I couldn't leave her like that… with Yang gone and her having had a fall out with her husband… you know what I mean?" Alex looked over questioningly, seeing Jo smile. "What?" he spat out almost defensively. Jo chuckled, nuzzling his upper arm again.

"Nothing," she breathed out hotly against his skin. "I just didn't think you had it in you," she said mockingly. Alex rolled his eyes at this. They stayed in silence for a bit. "You're a good friend, you know that?" Jo offered after he had parked the car in front of the hospital. Alex looked over at her, not seeming to even plan to respond. They looked at each other for a bit. "Are you nervous?" she ran her fingers across his face lovingly, making him close his eyes and lean back his head.

"A bit, yes," he said. "But mostly tired," he smiled. Jo nodded.

"It's gonna be fine. You'll work it out, alright? And whatever comes your way, we'll deal with it alright? We're in this together, okay?" she told him, hoping for him to open his eyes back up. When he did, she smiled encouragingly.

"You are a pretty good girlfriend," Alex nodded at her, knowingly, making her chuckle.

"Well, I try," she told him in the same tone, making them both laugh and get out of the car, strolling across the lot hand in hand.

"_Well, well,_ look at you, Karev, all fancied up," Jo turned back to see Ben and Bailey walking in just the same. Bailey almost seemed to burst from her good mood or something. _Somebody got laid last night and it sure as hell wasn't me. Seriously, do I radiate like that after a night with Alex? _Alex chuckled, glinting his eyes back at Bailey.

"You don't look so shabby yourself today," he pointed out, looking his ex-colleague up and down, noticing for the first time how made up she looked. "Special occasion?"

"Oh, I'm just appreciating a wonderful new day," Bailey giggled with a small squeal, exchanging meaningful looks with Ben and walked on. Alex and Jo shared a look of hidden laughter before boarding the elevator behind the other couple. They parted on different floors, Jo and Ben strolling over towards the residents' locker room casually, engaging in small talk.

"So," Jo wriggled her eyebrows at her colleague. "What got your wife that high this morning?" Ben chuckled at Jo's insinuation, glancing around the room. He waited until the last couple of residents other than themselves had exited before turning back towards Jo and beaming at her.

"Can you keep a secret?"

"Do _not_ tell me anything dirty," Jo warned with a raised finger. Ben shook his head.

"No," he replied, losing his shirt and putting on his scrubs. "Webber told Miranda about the vacancy on the board… you know with Yang gone…," he started his news, Jo stopping what she was doing mid-way, listening to him closely, frowning. "And he told her that she was the best candidate to replace her and he is gonna suggest her for the job to the remainder of the board this morning," he let loose of his big news and beamed. Jo looked at him, taken aback. _Well, this is awkward. One of us sure as hell isn't going to get lucky tonight… _

"What do you mean by that? I mean… that seat can't just be passed on… I mean just like that…," Jo tried to get more out of Ben.

"Well, it has to be filled, right? They have to appoint someone…," Ben pointed out, still oblivious to Jo's skepticism.

"Yeah but what about… I mean… you know… isn't Yang deciding who gets to act as her replacement?"

"No, I mean not really. I think. I mean, the shares are hers… but the seat on the board may be independent from those… I'm not sure, though," Ben looked up at the ceiling, taking a step back to think about it. "Unless she sells of course…," he pondered further. _Oh, crap. This is not going to be pretty_. She needed to go talk to Alex. Unless they were already halfway into the board meeting. _Unless he didn't even wanna sit in on the board? The shares were his all the same… Ugh, I need to go talk to Alex. Why hadn't she asked about it already? What the hell had she been thinking about all night and all morning? Would Alex take a step back for Bailey's sake? Or was this something he'd actually enjoy doing? What the hell is the decision here, anyways? I'm confused. This is going way over my head… Why wouldn't I even have a clue what Alex thinks about that… Ugh, what to do…. What to fucking do?!_


	2. Chapter 2

Jo was standing at the nurses' station, updating charts after rounds this morning, preparing for being on Dr. Pierce' service that day but secretly trying to find out what was going on inside the conference room opposite the hallway from her. It looked chaotic in there and even though the blinds were at least meant to be casting off curious glances, she could make out some people Jo had never seen before. That one looked quite legal. He had to be the notary.

"Hey there," Jo startled when Steph approached her, smiling widely. "What's up?" she scrutinized her while Jo still tried to ogle through the blinds of the conference room.

"Um," Jo mumbled distractedly, "not much," she voiced.

"Why's Alex at the board meeting this morning? Is he trying to get his old job back?" Stephanie nosed on. Jo frowned and shook her head no. "Okay…?" Stephanie looked at her questioningly. Jo just waved her away. "What's Bailey doing in there, then?" she inquired further.

"I don't know, Steph, alright?" she hissed at her rather flippantly.

"Of course you do," Stephanie smirked. "You're a bad, bad liar! Oh, do tell, this is gonna be good," Stephanie ratted her out. Jo looked over at her friend indecisively. _To tell her or not to tell her? Better not, right? But who would she tell? _There weren't many people left that they actually called their friends around here… except for Ben. And he was not supposed to hear this… except from his wife maybe.

"No, really, I don't know much about it," Jo tried to stall. Inside the conference room, a discussion seemed to have sparked.

"_Karev_?" she could make out Bailey's high-pitched voice. Jo watched the senior doctor turn an inch towards Alex and look him up and down like she was deciding if he was worth it or something. _Ugh, Jo calm down, you can't even hear what they're saying. Don't get angry about things you can't even know anything about. Stop getting so angry about every little thing._ She watched as a little commotion broke out in the room, several doctors talking simultaneously. _What the hell was going on? Ugh, come on, come on, somebody talk a little louder… _

"What's this about anyways?" Steph wouldn't stop bugging her.

"Yang left a vacant seat on the board," Jo finally gave in, making Stephanie's eyes widen.

"Oh, so Karev and Bailey are racing against each other? _Oh, this is so good," _the girl turned towards the conference room again, trying to read lips as well. Jo rolled her eyes at the other resident and they succumbed to silence, observing the on-goings meticulously. Meredith Grey was saying something. Jo scrunched up her face but couldn't tell what she was on about, so she let her eyes flit over to the other people present, trying to gather something from their reactions. _Fuck, Shepherd looked ready to kill. _Jo felt herself pull her mouth down instinctively, taken aback about the attending's reaction to his wife talking. _Maybe she should cut her some slack for having monopolized her boyfriend last night. Phew. _She watched as the doctor she had just been observing leaned back casually into his chair and all of a sudden putting his hand down on the table and interrupting his wife. Everyone's faces shifted over towards him when he seemed to say something rather aggressively, his wife interrupting him again. _Oh, there goes Avery and his '_let's keep this civil' attitude. _Must be hard to try to lead a bunch of surgeons to get their act together and make them decide on bureaucratic hospital stuff. Does Alex want that? Does he actually wanna busy himself with that kind of crap? _Jo's eyes automatically moved over towards where she knew Alex was standing and watched him listen to everyone's opinion. He looked… guarded. That's the only thing she could make out. _Oh, now Webber was talking. Why was he in there anyways? Can't quite figure out why he gets a say in anything… and a listen… _Jo followed his motions of his hand and observed Bailey, having put on a very iron looking mask. She looked a bit like the wind had been punched out of her guts with the new information. Nothing like she looked like this morning. _Ugh, crap, crap, crap. Oh, now the unfamiliar person was talking. And he's gesturing towards Alex. Oh, he certainly must be a lawyer. Even his body language confirmed this. _Alex' face looked unfazed. _Oh, no, what happened? Now he looks angry. He's gesturing with his arms wildly, his eyes are wide and he's trying to… I think he's trying to make a point. Oh, Jo, you gotta do better than that. He's your boyfriend. Watch his lips, what is he saying? _She turned her gaze over towards Bailey, since Alex was doing the same thing and the general surgeon's face and demeanor took her aback. She looked… patronizing. _Oh my God, don't do this to me. Alex is a kick ass surgeon. And you all know it. _Jo had never understood why Alex had always been treated…almost a bit like an underdog amongst his fellow surgeon. Or at least that's what she felt like it was. _Calm down, Jo, you have no idea what you're even getting mad about. You have no idea what they're talking about. Alex can defend himself just fine. Ugh, no, but he's not good with talking and convincing… he has never been very practiced with presenting his qualities. _Jo took a deep breath.

"What is it with all the doctors at this hospital thinking they can just run off and busy themselves with whatever they think is acceptable without consulting their attendings first?" an unfamiliar voice brought Jo back to what she was supposed to do and her eyes focused on Dr. Pierce who had just emerged from nowhere it seemed. Jo had to gather herself quickly, trying to shake off what was actually concerning her at the moment, much more than her own job.

"I apologize, Dr. Pierce, I was just updating our patients' charts after rounds an-," she started, only to be interrupted again.

"For the last 20 minutes? If second year residents at this hospital need 20 minutes for updating charts of five cardio patients, then I ask myself, how in the world do you plan to pass your boards in three years time? I can't have people in my OR that are slacking…that's unacceptable," the woman told Jo with an unimpressed face.

"Again, I'm sorry. This is not how I usually work, I swear. I was just-," Jo tried to explain but again, the woman wouldn't let her talk.

"I'm not surprised, though. I may not have had many social contacts the last couple of weeks since I'm here but I did get a good impression of work ethics around here. Even the attendings seem to be doing whatever the heck they want around here… So," her deep eyes bored into Jo's. "What's it that's so interesting in there that you can't seem to focus on your job? "

"Um, I'm sorry, Dr. Pierce," Jo tried to elude her.

"No, seriously, if I wanna gain some traction around here I should probably start caring about hospital gossip. Fill me in," she told her, almost ordering her.

"Um, I don't kno-," Jo was indecisive what to tell her.

"Oh, nonsense," Dr. Pierce looked back at her, determined. Jo sighed.

"They're deciding on who will be Dr. Yang's replacement on the board," Stephanie stepped in for her. Dr. Pierce nodded slowly, looking back at Jo.

"Well," she decided. "Not as interesting as I thought it was. Let's get to work. I need you to run an MRI on our patient in 3745 and then I'll have you prep Mr. Leeds for his angiogram. Also, I need you to…," Dr. Pierce looked down at the tablet, rambling on, but Jo lost track once she heard the door towards the conference room being opened and watched people streaming out, Bailey leading the way, looking pissed.

"Dr. Bailey, come on," Webber was rushing after her while Jo watched Grey and Shepherd walk out and Shepherd talking onto Grey frantically who was defending herself from his words and walked over to the nurses' station straightforwardly, fetching up a tablet herself. Robbins, Torres, _where the hell was Alex? Oh there, he's still in there. _Alex was standing with the supposed notary, Hunt and Avery, the notary talking onto him. Alex had propped his fists in his waist again and looked down to the floor, listening to what they were saying before nodding and waving something away, marching out the door. Hunt looked pissed himself, having put his hand on his forehead and turning away towards the window. Jo didn't think twice before she followed Alex towards the elevators.

"_Dr. Wilson_," Dr. Pierce eventually caught on to her student having latched herself loose, making other doctors look up to them.

"I'll be right back, I'm sorry, Dr. Pierce," she called back, biting her lip and already anticipating a harsh punishment later. _Right now, that was secondary, though. _"Alex, wait," she caught up to him, grasping onto his lower arm, making him look back at her in irritation. "What happened?" Alex grumbled and turned away again, boarding the elevator, looking pissed himself.

"I'll tell you later. Gotta go, my first appointment's in 20 minutes," he said. Jo looked at him in disappointment and bit her lip openly, bouncing her right leg.

"Seriously?" she spat out, but the elevator doors had already closed between them, making her sigh and turn back towards where she expected a furious Dr. Pierce. She was gone, though. _Great. Great start into the day. Seriously. Congrats, Wilson._

* * *

When Jo entered Joe's bar that night and looked around only to not spot her boyfriend as she had anticipated, she looked at the screen of her cellphone and discovered a text saying he wouldn't make it there after all. Jo sighed in frustration before turning on the spot and driving home. Jo fumbled with her keys to let herself into the house, tired from the day she'd had. After what had happened that morning, Dr. Pierce had made her work hard to get into her good graces again. _Weirdly,_ Jo thought, _she hadn't been learning as much from a surgeon's hand as she had that day. _Dr. Pierce really seemed to know what she was doing. She was an incredible cardiothoracic surgeon. After only ever having known Yang as _the _amazing surgeon she was, admiring her quick thinking and her amazing hands, it had come as a surprise to her that other surgeons were just as gifted as the former go to cardiothoracic surgeon at Grey Sloan Memorial. It wasn't like Jo didn't think Pierce was capable of doing it, she just had never thought about it before. _Maybe everyone at their hospital was too narrow-minded to even look across the borders to see what the whole rest of the world was doing, being so engrossed in how brilliant they were themselves, how incredible it was to have been accepted into one of the greatest surgical programs in the country, and, to be honest with oneself, too preoccupied dealing with personal lives to actually appreciate a good man's work. _Jo looked around the dark rooms of the house, making her way into the kitchen, hearing voices. She sighed when she realized whose voices she was hearing. _Really? She came home with him again? Alright, Jo, steady yourself, as you decided this morning, you need to at least try to sympathize with Grey's situation at home before you start claiming your boyfriend back. But then again, she hadn't even been given the chance to also be there for her boyfriend. Talk to him. Listen to him. Consult with him. _

Jo turned the corner and entered the kitchen, making both Alex and Meredith look up and the latter one stop in the middle of her sentence. Alex smiled at her slightly before looking back at his friend, expecting her to continue.

"Hey," Jo breathed out, stooping down to kiss Alex' neck in passing and opening up the fridge, her eyes laying on a left-over piece of pizza from the night before, taking it out and putting it into the toaster oven. She turned around, leaning against the counter and raising her eyebrows since the other woman had not continued talking yet and just stared at her. Alex sighed and got up, heading towards the fridge.

"Go on," he urged Meredith before taking out a beer and looking over at Jo questioningly, gesturing if she wanted a beer. Jo smiled and nodded when he closed the door to the refrigerator and stepped besides Jo, opening up both bottles.

"I don't know if we should talk about this so… publicly," Meredith pointed out slowly and Jo made out how Alex scrunched up his face in irritation, rolling his eyes and snorting.

"Jo is not _the public_," he replied, shoving the bottle into her hand and kissing her cheek before walking back to his barstool. "She's gonna know anyways," he added, taking a sip, sitting down. Jo tried to hide a smile. _She loved when Alex commented on things so casually, as if they were completely self-evident. _

"Alright, I'm just saying," Meredith replied, shrugging her shoulders.

"What got your knickers in a twist, woman? You know Jo won't go around the hospital telling people about this. And anyways, this isn't something that's gonna keep top secret. People will know about this," he looked at her exasperatedly, motioning for her to go on. Jo smiled while turning around and getting her pizza out of the oven. For some reason, she didn't even feel the need to stay down here anymore, listening to their contemplations. Alex just confirmed that he was going to keep her in the loop no matter what, and although she was bursting to know what was going on, she'd rather have him tell her personally than hearing it some half assed way from Grey. Meredith started up the conversation again but Jo didn't really catch on what they were discussing momentarily, so she packed her pizza and her beer, walking towards the door.

"I'll be upstairs," she whispered towards Alex who had looked around, running her fingers across his upper back and down his arm, locking fingers for a second before walking on and reciprocated a smile. Meredith who was talking on, ignored their little exchange, so Jo turned around at the door and mouthed a little afterword towards him. _Don't make it too late. _Alex smiled wider and shook his head lightly before going back to listening in to what his friend had to tell him. Jo spent her night going over the procedures she had learned from today and taking notes, eating her pizza and sipping on her beer. A little after midnight, she decided to call it a night and got herself ready for bed, hoping Alex would join her soon. She lay awake for a while, tossing and turning, thinking. She snorted at a thought she just had. _Are you seriously becoming jealous of Meredith Grey? _She pondered about it for a moment. _Yeah, I kinda am. _She admitted to herself. _I just really want to be the person Alex wants to confide in with this. I just really thought it would be like that. Why doesn't he want to talk to me about it? Well, but on the other hand you haven't had the time to… he probably would if Grey didn't stay here all the time. So, yeah, maybe she was jealous of the superior doctor. _

Even though Jo had dozed off already for a bit, she smiled to herself when Alex sneaked into their bedroom slowly, probably trying not to wake her, before passing the bed to go to the bathroom. When he exited, he was wearing some joggers and a wifebeater. He got into the bed, lying down at a distance from her, still looking at his cell phone, turned away from her. She inched over towards him and wrapped her arms around his waist, burying her nose in his neck, kissing him.

"Hey, did I wake you?" he startled mildly, punching a message into his phone and when Jo looked over she spotted the recipient being Cristina Yang. She shook her head and cuddled into him from behind.

"Take that shirt off, " she murmured into his skin without thinking. Alex didn't react, put his phone down and tried to get comfortable. "Take it off," she repeated under her breath, feeling how she maybe had already slept a little bit, her mind a little groggy.

"I'm not in the mood," Alex just gave back, his eyes already closed. Jo scrunched up her face at this.

"I wasn't implying that but _gee, thanks,_" Jo replied snarkily. She could feel Alex inhale deeply, and probably he was rolling his eyes. She only tightened her embrace on him, stroking her thumb across his abs. "Do you wanna talk to me about it?" she tried, even though she was pretty sure he just wanted to sleep. _But I want you to share with me. Jesus, was that so bad?_

"Not really, no," he mumbled, yawning. Jo sighed.

"You realize you haven't given me anything, _anything at all_, since we first found the papers, right? I have no clue what's going on, what happened at the meeting, what you guys talked all last night and a couple of hours ago. I just… I really just wanna know what's going on with you," she tried to not sound too pissed. She didn't wanna push him. But she didn't wanna be left out either. There was a short pause before Alex reached up to run his right hand back and forth her arm that she had snaked around his body.

"I'm just really tired. Nothing interesting has come up yet. I promise. I'd tell you if there were any news," he said, finalizing the matter.

"I'm not even asking about that, though," Jo tried to clear up her motives. "I wanna know what you think…. I wanna know how _you _feel about this," she said.

"Well, Mer says that…," he started.

"I don't give a damn what Grey says," Jo bounced back, a little too bitchy she thought. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap," she immediately gave him. "I just wanna know what _you _think about all this," she kissed down on his shoulder apologetically. She heard Alex sigh before feeling him shift and smiling for he was trying to face her. They shared a soft gaze that almost instantly turned into a kiss. Jo could hear herself sigh contently, wrapping her arms around him tighter. "I just feel like I have to beg you to spend time with me, talk to me?" she murmured against his lips, instantly reciprocating his advances of deepening the kiss. "Mmm," she felt how she was immediately on fire.

"You wanna talk or you wanna finish what we never did last night?" Alex rolled Jo over so he was lying on top of her and wriggled his eyebrows at her smugly. She let out a small huff at smiling and cupped the sides of his head, stretching her neck to kiss him.

"I thought you weren't in the mood?" she asked him, testing him.

"Oh well," he grumbled, bending down to kiss her neck hungrily, sucking at it wildly, making her squirm and close her eyes automatically. "My mood changes so rapidly sometimes if you're in my vicinity," he shaped against her chest, growling when Jo parted her legs and bent her knees to stroke Alex' legs up and down with her feet before clenching her thighs together in anticipation. Jo chuckled at his reaction and shared a radiating look with him.

"Well, if that's the case, maybe I should give you a reason to put your mind to rest for a bit, hm?" she nodded at him and pulled his head up towards her and down to kiss her, passionately. The desire between them burnt up immediately and Alex pinned her down wildly, instantly having lost control over himself when Jo had run her fingers down his back and snaked them into his loungepants, squeezing his butt. She smiled into the kiss, withdrawing her tongue and looked up at him seductively, taking his shirt off slowly. She loved watching him at it. It amazed her so much. The eyes he gave her, deep, dark eyes full of heat, how his hair even though he only had like a length of two inches immediately tousled as if he had spent all day in bed, how he narrowed his eyes at her when he was trying to keep in control, when all he wanted is take her, but then give her the biggest, most beautiful and gut-wrenching wide-eye stares when he was watching her, when he was touching her, when he was admiring her. She loved how his muscles clenched and unclenched, how his muscles across his torso heaved and lowered with his usually intense breathing, how his muscular back felt underneath her hands, roaming him. She knew him so well and it excited her. What she also knew was how well Alex knew her, how he knew exactly how to make her knees tremble and what to do to make her gasp and moan, how to look at her and touch her to make her eyes widen and plunge into a mind-blowing kiss. He knew all that. And that excited her even more. Jo bit down on his neck when his thumb deepened its pressure on her crotch and she tugged at his waistband, letting him know she wanted his pants off but she couldn't reach that far with him hovering above her.

"Get them off," she nagged him through deep breaths, her stomach cramping with the realization of how ready she was, how much she could feel her pulse beating heavily in her most sensitive regions, how much they yearned for him, how almost uncomfortably damp her panties had become. Alex smirked while struggling out of his pants and boxers, Jo watching him from her position lying down. He was pretty decently erect already, so that wasn't going to take very long. She smiled when he crashed down to kiss her again. _Something she loved about being intimate with him. They just… mirrored and reciprocated every move and motion the other one was doing. If she was ready, he was too, and vice versa. If she wanted him to kiss her, he did, and vice versa. It was always so different with them, but the basis was there, they had such a profound connection, they knew each other so well, they could sense what was needed between them. _Jo reached down to caress his length, to stroke him teasingly, making him moan into her ear, before going back down to suck on the spot from before that she could feel was getting sore and would make a huge hickey on a spot she really didn't want one but at the same time she didn't want him to stop, because it felt so good, so good when he did that. Jo took a second and smirked to herself before making a move she knew drove him crazy. She let go of his penis and stretched a little bit further, taking her left hand and pushing up his body on top of her and made a motion that was almost resembling her tickling his… well, balls. Jo gasped when she felt the repercussions from that move that turned her on even more.

Alex groaned loudly, positioning his hands at her shoulders and ripping down her spaghetti holders wildly, pulling down her shirt roughly, caressing her breasts heatedly, following his hands with his mouth, kissing a trail down to her stomach before inching further down and ripping off her hot pants and panties and shirt at the same time, leaving her lying naked and ready in front of him. Jo moaned when he came back to kiss her sensitive areas, played with his tongue at her opening, looking up at her burning eyes, Jo squirming underneath him but he kept pinning her down. He placed his knees on either side of her right leg before cupping her left thigh and kissing a trail up towards her knee, stretching out her leg and put it over his shoulder. He looked down at her eyes, communicating completely silently, completely successfully. He reached back down to her clit and worried her, teased her, making her throw her head back and growl herself now. _That man was going to kill her one day. _She could feel how he put two of his fingers inside her and rolled her eyes. He always did that. _Why? He knew she was ready. God, you tease. _She watched him as he guided his penis inside her, closing her eyes at the intrusion, feeling how incredible their genitals worked together, how her whole body tingled with anticipation when he went all the way in, guiding his right hand up, running it up and down on her leg that was still propped over his shoulder and trailing his left hand up towards her chest, passing by her clit, teasing it, petting her lower stomach, making her suck in a breath and close her eyes again, playfully circling her bellybutton before meeting with her hand and intertwining them on her boobs and momentarily, he started to move inside her.

Everything was bliss. Sometimes Jo thought, having sex was such a technical thing, such a… predictable action to take. Two people, wanting each other, seducing each other, trying to get the most of it, some people loved the foreplay, some got right at it, some do it differently all the time but the gist of it… it really didn't change from one couple to the next. Sex had been researched and redefined and described for centuries by scientists and wise men and researchers, has been talked about by the average person, has been written about by a huge amount of authors on this planet in all different varieties, sex being that incredible, unbelievable thing that every-freaking-body on this planet did, that everybody shared, sex being something so common and, as said, predictable. However, for Jo, every single time Alex came near her, every time he looked at her like he always did, every time she could feel that craving inside her, that insatiable craving for Alex, that she knew was completely scientifically explicable, biologically natural… she knew all that… but it still didn't make sense to her. Every time Alex touched her, kissed her, she felt that yearning inside her, that longing, that deep desire and passion to be with that man, to please each other, to be with each other, to help each other release, she just… it overwhelmed her, she was completely unable to cope. And the way he looked at her now, the way their joined hands were kneading her skin, the way he moved inside her, the way he had positioned her, completely at his mercy, she almost crumbled underneath all of it.

"Alex," she gasped, biting her lips, rolling her head, overextending her neck, arching her back for he was completely ripping all control from her and had her in his hands. She could feel his hot breath on her leg that he was caressing, he could feel his lips on her skin, how he was trying very hard to not finish that early because she knew how he felt about all this. She knew she was capable of driving him crazy with everything she did, and with how she felt. Alex moved their joined hands down towards her sensitive spots and made her yelp with teasing her, kneading her again, watching her writhe. They locked eyes when Alex grazed his teeth across her inner thigh, slowly releasing her leg and pushing it down, sliding out of her, making her push herself up immediately and climbing him, getting closer towards him. While she kissed him deeply, holding his head between her soft palms tightly, he made her sink down on him again, grasping her hips and moving her back and forth on him, making him emit a very low sound within their kiss and slide his head down towards her chest, trying to make himself less heard, closing his eyes at the flood of sensations. Jo held herself up tightly by his shoulders, letting her head fall back with the overwhelming feelings she had inside of her, gasping loudly, uttering nonsensical syllables, breathing heavily. She could feel how her entire torso, inside and out, cramped and she knew that her orgasm was coming on hard, making her be unable to hold herself to him. Of course he immediately realized and let her fall back, hovering over her again, thrusting her deeply until she was screaming his name and shaking terribly, forgetting her surroundings, forgetting her own name. When her orgasm had come on, she fidgeted lightly for Alex' penis made her buck with rubbing against her sensitive areas and she pulled him on top of her, wrapping her left hand around him while grasping down for his penis and stroking him madly until he gasped and groaned and finally finished as well, falling down on her exhaustedly, both smiling with their eyes closed, Jo's arms wrapped around him tightly, hugging her towards her chest, feeling, again, that one thing only ever Alex had made her feel: _safe_.

"I love you," Alex murmured against her skin, making her smile, and Jo was halfway to sleep when she felt how Alex was lifting himself up, all his weight suddenly vanishing from her body, loosening her arms around him and getting up without saying anything, disappearing into the bathroom. Jo looked after him, too taken aback to even be able to form a meaningful word through her lips, having sat up and stared at the now closed bathroom door. _It wasn't like he couldn't excuse himself to the bathroom or anything, but, what the hell was that?_


	3. Chapter 3

When Alex walked back out of the bathroom, he had put on some shorts and walked over towards the recliner in the corner by the window where Jo knew he had put the hospital papers before, not even looking at her. Meanwhile, Jo felt empty and rejected, the minutes of him having left her lying in bed all alone after what she had thought was mind-blowing lovemaking, only enhanced and inflated the nagging feelings she had been harboring since the day before when they had found the envelope initially. _She did understand him being at a loss for words, at a loss of a decision, she could empathize with this outgrowing his momentary state of mind, what she couldn't empathize with was how he was continuously rejecting her, pulling away from her. She knew he didn't do it intentionally, he didn't mean to hurt her, and they were only rather small situations, like him preferring to talk about it all night with Meredith Grey instead of her, or him leaving her at the closed door of an elevator – which hadn't been the first time one had to mention – and now him leaving her in freaking bed after they _just _had had sex? Not like an hour after, not like after they had calmed down, no, literally the minute after he had finished. What the fuck? Yes, she knew he didn't know what to do but that was not an acceptable outcome. She was pissed. And hurt. More pissed than hurt, though. Because she couldn't blame him for rejecting her, it was still Alex she was in a relationship with and even though they had made progress and he had warmed up to her, also concerning showing his emotions towards her, opened up to her, it was still Alex and she knew he was having a hard time doing so. So, she succumbed to being pissed. _

Jo sat up slowly, still a little shakily, after all he had just catapulted her out of this world, no surprise there, but him being able to just leave her, much surprise there. She wrapped the crumpled up bed sheet around her and turned towards him, since she had been lying head down at the end of the bed. "What the hell, Alex?" she barked at him, glaring at him, before sizing him up and seeing his guard down completely, sitting back in the recliner, one hand brought up to his face and rubbing his eyes while the other one was lying face up on the armrest. She knew his body language. She knew him through and through. Everything made sense now. _He had needed space. __Because with lying in her embrace, he had felt vulnerable. _That arm, though, that was lying there, it may not look like much, but she knew exactly, it was the invitation for her to come sit with him. Jo dropped her head to the side and bit her lips. _She hated taking her own feelings back when he was feeling terrible. No, she didn't hate it but sometimes it was really, really hard not to be pissed at him. _Jo sighed and got up slowly, walking a few steps over to stand in front of Alex and looking down at him, holding up the sheets around her chest. After a dramatic sigh, he dropped his hand from his face and looked up at her, his face drained off everything. Jo scrunched up her face to show him she was mad and sighed. "I'm so pissed at you, so just know, me running after you right now really is all kinds of showing every tiny cell of support I have for you after _ditching _me for the umpteenth time in a period of 24 hours, but most of all, _ditching _me after sleeping with me and leaving me there, feeling like the sluttiest you know what around, feeling like I'm cheaper than a dollar bill," she hissed, before taking a step closer. Alex held out his hand and matched hers, helping her crawl into his lap. She pulled her knees up, Alex immediately slinging his right arm around to cup her backside and nestled her head on his shoulder, looking up at him softly now. "Just talk to me, alright?" she whispered when he sighed heavily, seemingly not knowing what to say. He stared down at a spot on the ground or somewhere on their entangled legs, she couldn't quite tell, squeezing his left hand on her back. "Alex," she breathed, kissing his muscled chest, "we don't want this to be _we almost break over an issue of 'you can't get yourself to talk to me, 2.0', _do we?" she smiled when he did and he let out a silent puff of laughter. They sat in silence for another moment, although Jo could make out that Alex was already pondering what to say.

"I just…," he shook his head wildly. "I don't know what to do with myself. I feel so… suddenly I feel so small and insignificant," he started quietly, making Jo frown at him. _Really? Yang had just proved that she thought a hell lot more of Alex than at least Jo had ever thought she did. Of course Alex had taken that in a completely wrong way. _She put her hand that had been resting on his chest until now on his cheek to turn his face towards her.

"Hey," she shook her head, looking at him in confusion. "What's this all about?" Alex shook his head, seemingly out of explanations. Jo traced her thumb across his cheek to make him look up and they shared an intense gaze. "You are _neither _small _n__or_ insignificant, alright?" she told him with emphasis, shaking her head again, uncomprehending where that had come from. She pulled him closer and their lips touched gently, sharing a sweet kiss. When she pulled back, she sighed. "How about you start from the beginning? How about you tell me what happened today, hm?" Alex looked like he was unsure how to go on but he sighed and fixated his eyes on a spot somewhere by his nightstand.

"Webber somehow promised… or no, he kinda… got Bailey's hopes up that she would be the perfect replacement for Yang on the board," he started out, Jo only nodding off the information she already had. Alex sighed. "So, when she was all fancied up and elated this morning?" he looked over at her, looking for confirmation. "She was hoping that the board would appoint her… whereas I walked in there and had to inform them that Cristina has left her shares with me," he went on. "Of course, nobody had counted on Cristina changing anything with her shares… she apparently hadn't talked to anyone about it… so, they were all pretty surprised… I'm not sure if it was good surprised or bad surprised, though. But they all looked kinda… they looked skeptic," he tried to think about the situation. Jo had cuddled into his shoulder again, watching his face from the side while he was talking. She couldn't see his eyes but observing his jaw muscles and the way he talked… he really seemed to be at a loss momentarily. "Bailey really was the only one who gave me an honest, direct reaction," he pointed out, quieter though.

"She was appalled," Jo immediately raged, thinking back about how she had heard the senior doctor yell out _Karev _in a pretty nasty, questioning tone. He nodded.

"But you know, it doesn't bother me so much. I'd probably be pissed just the same. I mean she has been here since way before we all have. I think last year when they all bought the hospital, she felt pretty… overlooked somehow… or I don't know… I just think she… I mean she _did_ want the hospital to be saved, as what it is or was… instead of the whole _Pegasus_ thing… right? I mean who didn't," he continued, deep in thought, just pouring it all out. Jo nodded. "But she hadn't expected her juniors to… overpower her somehow, you know what I mean?" he looked down at her again, making her nod. _It amazed Jo how much approval Alex needed once he got going. How insecure he was even if it was just them… so insecure about telling his opinion somehow… even though he sure wasn't a person that was mincing the words on other occasions. _"The thing is… she has taught all of us… and now she's supposed to report back to them… at least board wise, you know what I mean? And then what all happened with cutting the budget, cutting labs,… I think she was pretty upset with them at times because she didn't think they were making the right decisions… even though I'm sure there are no… _right _decisions in this whole thing… and you can never predict the future… so you just keep everything that's possible intact… and have to cut those things that you think don't have a future… or didn't show as many successes… I don't know how they decide that… why would I?" Alex paused shortly, while Jo had to smile. _Even though he wasn't even really thinking about his ramblings right now, he already had the mind of one hell of a board member. He just didn't know it._ "My point is… I guess she wasn't all happy with the board… and now, she had this opportunity, Webber has drawn her attention to her being able to 'reign' this hospital somehow… have a say… I really think this was the best thing that could have happened to her," Alex said, stopping there. Jo looked at him in surprise.

"Are you saying you want her to take the seat?" she asked him. They looked at each other for a long moment.

"I don't know. _I don't know, _Jo, I really don't. Oh, please, just tell me what to do," he dropped his head and inhaled deeply. Jo chuckled mildly, kissing his shoulder.

"I can't decide that for you. It's your decision. I can help you make a decision… or find your way there… but I can't tell you what to do," she pointed out, kissing his skin again. Alex looked at her for a second before kissing her head and turning away again.

"I know," he said, defeated. "It's just… you know… I never even thought about this possibility… I never wanted to be on the board… sure, in retrospect I was all like, _hey, I should have been on that plane_ and I sure wouldn't have said no to fifteen million dollars… but I never wanted to sit on the board… so, I haven't ever thought about it, you know? It's not that I _don't _want it… I'm just not sure if I _do_… and now that I _have _those shares… I mean, why not, right?" Alex looked down again, and uncertainty was reflecting in his eyes, big time.

"Of course, Alex," Jo boosted him, cupping his cheek again. "Of course, why wouldn't you? It's big, though…," she added.

"So… you're saying you don't think I can do it?" he asked slowly.

"Oh Alex," she exhaled and smiled at him lovingly. "That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying it's a big decision, whichever one you'll make," she clarified. He nodded. "But didn't the notary say something about it?"

"Yeah," he nodded again. "He did. Legally, everything's settled, everything's crystal. The shares are mine. Yang has done good preparation for this. It's flawless. Rightfully, the seat is also mine. However, they pointed out to me that it is my right to pass the seat on, since the shares are not co-dependent with the seat. I can… _appoint _someone to be my… I don't know… advocate? Or something like that… I'm not sure, though, if that means that if I choose Bailey, she needs to confer with me, or with passing my seat on she's just her own voice on the board… I don't know anything about that…," he informed her.

"So, does this mean that the decision at hand is: do you wanna sit in on the board yourself or do _you _wanna pass the seat on?"

"Exactly," Alex said, looking down at her, seeing her shake her head and raising her eyebrows in disgust.

"You know, Yang has digged herself a pretty slick way out," she drew his attention there. "I mean… she made it clear that she was not gonna be responsible for any of that… she wasn't gonna decide anything and she wasn't gonna be the one people hate on," she said. Alex chewed on this for a while.

"I don't know, Jo… yeah, I mean, sure, that's true. But then again… she gave me a freaking gold mine's worth of shares of the hospital. I think that's fair enough. It makes me kinda wealthy…," he said, smiling for the first time, genuinely even. Jo smiled with him, laughing quietly. They enjoyed their moment of happiness for a minute before Jo wiped her smile off her face and pointed a finger at him, narrowing her eyes.

"Doesn't mean you get to buy a boat, though," she warned him. Alex laughed.

"Just because I'm holding part of the shares of the hospital, doesn't mean cash is flowing more easily now," he chuckled, making her nod in agreement. "And, just," he frowned at her, but still smiling. "What's this all about you giving me orders all of a sudden? _Take off your shirt! Don't you dare buy that boat!_" Jo laughed.

"These aren't orders," she cuddled into his shoulder again. "They're just… well-meant… _hints_," she squeezed her way out, looking up at him innocently. Alex laughed loudly and nodded, wriggling his eyebrows.

"M-hm," he told her sarcastically, bending down to kiss her. They sat in silence for a while longer, both deep in thought until Alex cleared his throat and Jo looked up at him. "I don't know, Jo," he shook his head. "I don't think I have what it takes," he mused.

"What do you mean?"

"I don't think I could do it…," he repeated.

"Does that have anything to do with crap like feeling _small _or _insignificant _again? Cause that's bullshit and you know it, right?" she looked up at him, worrying about his sincerity.

"You should have seen their faces. And I know… I've always been the… well, I've never been the responsible guy… I've never been the leader kind… I just… I'm not sure I can. They're probably right, I should just stick to my job that I know how to do well," he concluded.

"No, Alex, stop it. First of all, _do not _let them decide for you. They have no idea, Alex. You're a surgeon - that makes you incredible at that. You've managed to get accepted into a private practice. They actually requested you, if you remember. I mean, at least the Lebackes guy told you about the job opening and about how you'd fit so well… you've done the whole Africa thing… you've pulled it all off. You give yourself way too little credit for the things you achieve, Alex. You're incredible at what you do. Daily," she made him see.

"That has nothing to do with sitting on the board, though," he pointed out.

"What I'm saying is, this didn't come from nowhere, either. It's not like you were born a surgeon. You worked hard for it and you studied hard and you pulled through and you pushed yourself and you were willing to fail to better yourself. You invest yourself. People don't start out as board members, policy makers, office sitters, either, Alex. Did the rest of the board members have any experience before buying that hospital? They were in no freaking position to do so! And they did, and it was just fine. You know, policy is being made all the time by _us_, and we don't even realize. You know how to play politics, you know how to make policy, Alex. You know exactly what this hospital needs, you know what your patient needs, you know what the doctor needs, and the nurse. You know it all. How you're gonna process all that knowledge, that's what they're gonna teach you. You can't be afraid of that. You can't let that be the thing that makes you step back from that seat. Bailey is just as inexperienced as you are talking about a seat on the board. She may have been in the surgery business a bit longer… but she has never run a hospital, either, alright? Don't be scared of _them _or scared of _her._ You need to think about what _you w_ant," Jo looked at his eyes sincerely.

"So, you're saying… I should take the seat?"

"Nooo, Alex," Jo closed her eyes in exasperation but laughed. "I'm saying, please don't make decisions based on the wrong reasons. If you wanna do it, then do it, and you'll grow into it and it will be amazing. If you don't, you'll carry on with your job as you had planned, and that will be great, too, alright?" They stared at each other for a while.

"You're way too smart for your own good. Maybe I'll appoint you to sit in on the board for me," Alex winked, kissing her cheek.

"I'm not sure they let uncertified surgeons run the hospital," she gave back to him smiling.

"I do think so. The people crowding around the board at Seattle Grace weren't surgeons," he pointed out.

"Yeah, but they were lawyers… or something. They knew what they were doing," she countered.

"Well, I don't think it works that way. I think if you're wealthy enough to have shares of a hospital, you can appoint just about anyone that you think makes reasonable decisions about the daily survival of a hospital," he said, wriggling his eyebrows at her. Jo chuckled.

"Alright, I'll take it, then," she decided, looking at him mischievously. They chuckled together, hugging each other and running fingers all over, finally getting a bit sleepier, now that Alex had spilled his insides and washed away at least a few doubts that had gnawed away at him. Jo shifted a little, deciding she wanted to go to bed, sitting up slowly, her back towards Alex, running her fingers down on his arms, gripping onto his hands. "Come on," she whispered quietly, however, Alex was pulling her back down so she was lying on top of him, her back on his chest, her head nestled besides his, so that he could talk into her ear.

"Just for the record," he told her, wrapping his arms around her waist and kissing her shoulder, making her smile. "You're not cheap," he said, making her raise her eyebrows. "You're priceless," he concluded. Jo exhaled smilingly and turned her face around, kissing him. "I'm sorry for earlier," he murmured against her lips, Jo shaking her head in a tiny motion.

"I can't have you think you're small or insignificant, though, Alex, I'm serious," Jo matched their eyes. "Especially right after... well, you know," she said. Alex bit his lip for a second and looked down at her.

"I didn't mean to make you feel like _you_ are making me feel small or insignificant, though. I'm sorry, sometimes I don't think before I do," he told her apologetically.

"Correction: sometimes you _do _think before you do, most of the times you don't," she smiled at him cheekily. Alex chuckled, looking down. "No, Alex, look at me," Jo squirmed in his embrace since his arms were wrapped around her and she couldn't grab his chin. "You are big. You are a big person. You are the greatest person, alright? And most importantly, you are _my _person, okay?" Alex smiled before their lips crashed into a kiss again.

"I love you, you know that, right?" he wouldn't stop talking. Jo smiled against his lips and nodded, deepening the kiss. They never made it back to bed, falling asleep in each other's arms on the recliner.

* * *

Alex and Jo were both exhausted when getting up for work the next day. They both showered and got ready and Jo startled and rolled her eyes when she saw Meredith sit in the kitchen while getting coffee.

"Long night?" the older woman asked. Jo scrunched up her face, busying herself with the coffee machine.

"Um… yeah, no, I don't know… we just talked until well after I don't know… 3 or something," Jo said, pouring herself a coffee and doing the same for Alex into two travel mugs.

"You still here?" she heard Alex' surprised voice, taking her aback and turning towards the scene.

"Yeah, sorry, I couldn't get myself to go home," Meredith confessed.

"Ugh, crap, I forgot the car keys upstairs. Be right back," Alex excused himself again. Jo fumbled around with the lids of the travel mugs, feeling uncomfortable in Meredith's presence.

"It's your house, you know. You can kick me out," Meredith pointed out, having watched her squirm. Jo blushed the tiniest bit before turning around.

"It's not my house, though," Jo tried to put in a little joke, not knowing how far she could actually go. _It was really hard. Jo genuinely tried to be okay with Alex' friends, she actually tried to mingle and chat and bond... it was just so hard. They were her superiors. And it wasn't like any other job. Her job was her life. They saw each other the most part of the week, at a location were she had to recognize them as her teachers and bosses. So it was hard not to act like that when they were off. It had been hard with Yang in the beginning but Yang had been different. Yang didn't care too much and she had never given Jo a hard time. Yang had her own kind of humor, but Jo had liked that, but with Meredith Grey, she hadn't quite warmed up yet. They were friendly, polite with each other, but really, that had been it. Because... on some days, Jo just really expected for Medusa to come back and terrorize them. _Against all expectations, Meredith chuckled.

"You know," she started her reply, looking actually good-natured. "I like you. I really do. I mean, I can't ever really be sure... because Alex makes sure we don't spend too much time together... probably because you ask him not to leave you alone with us... your bosses that is... I get it, I really do. But you know, here, we're not your bosses. And you can kick us out. I get it, I do," Meredith told her, laughing. Jo smiled at her politely, not knowing what to say. "You know, when I was an intern, Bailey caught Derek and me out in the driveway," at this she pointed towards the window, "well... at it," Meredith decided to share. Jo looked taken aback.

"Okay...?" she bit her lip, trying not to smile.

"Go ahead, laugh, it's funny. It made my life hell, I mean, imagine Bailey catching you doing... oh well... anyways, she really let me grovel. For ages. She didn't give Derek the easy way out, either. But I pulled through it. I mean, I was in love with an attending. And yes, it sucked, because he was the attending. And I was the intern. But it was worth it. _Most days, anyways," _Meredith chuckled humorlessly. "Anyways, I'd do it again. And the way you've been fighting for Alex, it's... I can see how much you care for him. I tend to be overprotective of my friends and family. But I know all you want is for him to be happy, too. I can see that clearly now," Meredith sipped at her coffee, waiting for a reaction. Jo was... paralyzed it seemed. _Where the hell had this come from? _"The way you acted after the board meeting yesterday... let me tell you, they won't have it, so please stop acting like you _wanna_ lose your job," Meredith winked at her, making her blush even more, "but it screams of how much you care about him," she said. Jo sighed, finally trying to shape a reply.

"I do. I care about him more than anything else. But I know you do, too," she tried to tell her, thinking they might have gotten a wrong start this morning.

"I do. But he's your territory and I know that. I'm backing off, anyways, my kids are gonna kill me. They haven't seen me for breakfast in two days," her face was all contradicted and Jo felt bad for her_. Had to be hard to try to juggle a family while being a successful surgeon, doing research and keeping a marriage alive._

"I didn't mean to say you're supposed to leave. Alex needs you in this, I hope you know that," Jo pointed out weakly. Meredith smiled.

"I know. And I'm there, I'm not going anywhere. Metaphorically, that is," they both laughed awkwardly. "But he needs you more," Meredith concluded, winking at her when Alex came back in.

"You ready to go?" he asked them, completely oblivious about what was going on. They walked out together and waved her goodbye before moving to the car as well. When Alex had pulled up at the hospital entrance to drop Jo off, she got rid of her seatbelt and looked over at him.

"You decided yet?" she asked him, softly. He shook his head, looking up at the hospital.

"I do kinda miss it here, though," he admitted, looking over at Jo sheepishly who gave him big eyes.

"Oh, baby, but that's just because you've worked here for ages. You like it at the practice, right?"

"Yeah, sure. No, don't get me wrong, I do like it at the practice. Everything's… perfect. I just… I still miss it. I don't know why. It's more hours for less money, it's always stressful, I can't stand the gossip, I headbutt with every other person working in there, patients are whiny, I really don't know why I miss it…. But I do," he concluded.

"Well, would you wanna work back here again if you took the seat? I mean, again, the board seat isn't co-dependent with a job at the hospital, either…," she pondered. Alex smirked at her.

"Nope. But if I sat in on the board, I'd make sure there was enough budget for me to get my hot shot job back with a way bigger paycheck than before," he winked at her, making her laugh and nod.

"Good thinking," she told him, leaning over to kiss his cheek. "See you tonight, alright?" she started opening the door, when Alex held her back shyly. Jo looked back at him in confusion. "What is it?"

"Would you be… mad at me if I didn't fill the seat?" Alex voiced his care timidly. Jo's eyes bulged and she could feel how something inside her rose to either a chuckle or a moan, she wasn't quite sure, but she tried to stay sober to not offend him since she saw how scared his eyes gleamed. She closed the door back up before turning towards him and sighed.

"You are so screwed up, you know that, right?" she told him with a patronizing smile for she couldn't help it. When Alex averted his eyes and blushed rosily, she reached over to cup his cheek. They sat there awkwardly since the car refrained them from scooting closer. "Alex, I really hope you're putting on fake worry right now because… it really feels silly to have to tell you that my love for you does not depend on whether or not you take that stupid seat," she told him slowly, wide-eyed to coax a reaction out of him.

"Yeah, I don't know anything anymore… why couldn't Yang just have given it to… Bailey…. Why did she task me to deal with all that? She knows exactly that I'm the last person to be experienced enough to handle everything maturely…," he chuckled nervously. Jo gave him a small smile.

"But she wanted _you _to have it… she's your friend, Alex. She probably thought you deserved all that… you know, Bailey wasn't the only one with all the hospital buying dilemma that was kinda left out… she sure had her reasons to choose you to take over for her. I don't think she just _eeny meeny miny moed _her decision. She wanted you to have it," she looked at him burningly, making him chuckle.

"I seriously do not know where to go from here," Alex stated.

"Come here," Jo instructed him and they clumsily moved towards each other, Alex' hands resting in Jo's lap while she was holding onto his head tightly. "You are so scared to piss other people off… you're so scared to do the _wrong _thing but not for you… for them. And you need to start thinking about _you_," she pointed out.

"Yeah, but the last time I did that, people later told me they didn't think it was the right decision," he countered.

"Who said that?"

"Yang told me during our last surgery together… she basically told me she doesn't approve of me going into private practice… cause I'm… cause she thought I could do… _more…_," he repeated for her.

"Well, but it's still your life and your decisions… she apparently thought with transferring the shares to you, she's making you rethink your decision. But it still doesn't mean that you _have _to take her advice. It doesn't," Jo depicted it rationally.

"So, you're saying, you're not gonna help me out of this? I need to decide this by myself?" he inquired, smiling at her cheekily, trying to coax her into saying something. Jo laughed.

"Nope, I'm gonna shut up about it as of right now," she chuckled. "Cause Alex, it really doesn't matter to me, alright? I'll love you all the same no matter what you decide. I'll probably be beyond happy if you come back to work at the hospital – but these are very selfish reasons," she nodded, sharing a wide smile with her boyfriend. "But it'll be just as fine if you keep going what you have been trying to establish at the practice. The only thing that could and will make me a raging bitch will be… if your precious friend _Meredith Grey _is planning on staying one more freaking night at the house. I swear, I'm gonna jump her. And I'm not gonna jump you anymore, promise," she looked at him threateningly. Alex chuckled.

"I wish you would just decide for me," he said, giving her his best version of puppy dog eyes, making her snort. "_Pleeease?" _Jo laughed out loud, pulling him closer and kissing him, deeply.

"I love you, alright? Nothing you are going to decide is gonna change that fact, I promise," she murmured against his lips. "It's alright to be nervous. But don't be scared. You have loads of people supporting you, whatever might happen, me being their leader. Who knows? Maybe you're a brilliant politician… you'll never know if you don't try. The only question there is… really… is if you wanna _try_… if you're ready to just take a leap to somewhere we can't tell right now. Sometimes you just have to have faith. I didn't know what was gonna await me after sleeping with you either… and look, a long while has passed and I still don't regret a minute of being with you…," she kissed him again.

"You're evil, I hope you know that," Alex responded, making her giggle.

"Yes and that's why you love me," she said, pecking his lips one more time.

"Get out of here," Alex chuckled, slapping her ass playfully, biting her neck. "You aren't of any help with this," they shared a wide smile before Jo left the car and strolled over towards the entrance and vanished inside the hospital. She walked towards the elevators, hitting the button and replayed their conversation in her mind. She really hoped Alex would find his way somehow, and it really didn't matter which way that would be. It didn't matter to her. She would support either. Because she had been so proud of him when finally taking the step and deciding to take the job at the practice. But then, right now, she'd be really proud if he took the freaking board seat. Probably, she wished for it for the wrong reasons as well... she just didn't want him to feel _small _or _insignificant. _She could almost feel her eyes watering only thinking about him believing crap like that. She also hoped, not helping him choose had been the right decision for _her. _Now, the only thing left to do was... for _him_ to choose. Jo pushed the button again, impatiently.

_We can choose to be afraid of it, to stand there, trembling, not moving, assuming the worst that could happen... _

The elevator doors dinged open and Jo took a step in, sighing before turning around, spotting Alex running towards her.

"Jo, hold the elevator," he called. When her arm shot out, she was sure her heart had taken a skip simultaneously and a wide smile spread across her face.

_...or we step forward, into the unknown, and assume, it will be brilliant._

* * *

**_Afterthought: _**

For the longest time, the ending was right after when Jo got out of the car, leaving the story with an open end cause really, at this point, I have no freaking idea just what's gonna happen with the whole mess... but then, when I decided to publish and I re-read it... I was like... no, I really, really want him to take that seat. And more than that, I want him to succeed at what he's doing and I want him to feel good about his successes and I want him to realize that he is so worth it because I still feel like Alex does not appreciate himself as the person he really is. And Jo does, and I hope she can make him see that. So, now I got out my non-existent balls and wrote this ending, and I like it. I wish Grey's Anatomy was this easy ;)

Oh, yes, telling this story from Jo's POV was intentional because 1) lots of times we don't get to see what's really going on in the scenes... or they direct the episodes that you only hear about it second hand... so talking from her POV gave me the chance to leave specific information/details out and focus more on their own thoughts and emotions (since sometimes I really don't care about what a conversation is held but how people act and react), 2) I love to see scenes when one part of a couple gets to tell the other about something because I'm always curious about what's most important for one person... and we rarely get to see such scenes. At least not with Jo and Alex. There has been so many serious things happening between them and it's always like... alright, is it a given now that the other one knows about those things or not... so I like scenes where they just talk, and 3) very selfish writer's emotion... since they still haven't let her drop the L word at least for us to see and hear even though i'm sure they're throwing it around like the 8 ball. yeah, i know, _not_ but okay BUT this makes me crave for sappy i love him so much jo pov feelings so much more. so that's that ;-)

About Mer and Jo bonding. I did a bit of bonding, don't think it'll be enough for you readers since a lot of you have commented on it ;) but... I gotta say... I don't really see that happening on Grey's either. Or at least only very, very slowly. Meredith is a hard person to get to know. She's very guarded. And wary of other people. I really think she does like Jo, I just think she's more protective of Alex, she's not sure if to trust Jo (since yeah... the trust issues again... and yes, a lot of women have been leaving Alex, and a lot of the times Meredith had to scrape him off the floor afterwards). So, I think this is a big part of it, and then there's the whole job superior/inferior dynamic... which is hard... and not to overlook. It's weird and it's difficult. I think both have to deal with that big time (I don't think Jo likes that very much either. All her boyfriend's friends are basically her superiors, please, just imagine). I think Meredith is a big Jo/Alex shipper, but I think her priorities sometimes lie somewhere else. And so, I kinda think... bonding would be an exaggeration, as much as I want them to. And I'd love nothing more if the writers prove me wrong!

* * *

_Thank you, thank you, thank you! I really love all you readers, I'm pretty overwhelmed since this story got incredible exposure with an awesome view-count, I don't know what to say other than I really hope you enjoyed this, I'd love nothing more than to discuss! If anybody's ready to review...or messages, you know... the usual ;) thank you so much for reading and appreciating! All account-owners, keep an eye on your inbox! _


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